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In Loving Memory...
~ Gogo Fatale ~

6/2/01 - 10/11/11
~ Forever the Marest of Them All ~

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Not so great.

Gogo isn't really doing all that well right now. She's still getting around relatively well, and she is definitely losing weight, thank god... but she's been dead hopping lame for two months now with no improvement.

True, she did have one day where she was startlingly improved. The next day, however, she did not get Arnica or Banamine... and was absolutely dead lame the following day. I dosed her again with both Banamine and Arnica (although the two together is not really recommended for the homeopathy to actually work well.... I just couldn't not try to help her out, seeing how lame she was), and the following day she was very vaguely improved. Again though, who is to say what did it, the Arnica or the Banamine? She had it a full 12 hours beforehand (a 500lb dose) so I don't really know. The next step would be to give the Arnica without the Banamine... who knows though, at this point.

My biggest nagging concern at this point is the left hind. The ugly swelling on it will not. Go. Away. It has been there for almost two weeks now, and it is the same - ugly, lumpy, and with a distinct hot spot. The proximity it has to the old injury site is disturbingly close. It's nearly impossible to see if there is a lameness on this leg seeing as she is so crippled on the other leg, but if we blocked the right left we might see something show up on the left. I trotted her out on Friday and couldn't be sure, but thought that both hinds looked equally short going to the right. Going to the left, she looks the same as always.... dead hopping lame on the right.

I got my latest vet bill in finally (my vet's office takes forever to get the bills out!) and the write up was incredibly depressing, with words like "severe," "best to be a broodmare," "chronic and recurrent," and "painful."

It just feels like everything is slowly beginning to unravel. I predicted a systematic continual breakdown of the RH and then the LH... this might actually be happening. We won't know what is happening to the LH unless we run an ultrasound machine over it, but even then I can feel myself stalling. I don't want to face the music. I don't want this to be the end.

And maybe it isn't the end, who knows? But it just feels like I might finally be ready and prepared for it if this is what it comes down to.

Fall is beautiful in Texas now that it is finally here. The weather is gorgeous (low 80's with no clouds and a light breeze), and we've actually had one or two rainsqualls. Things are starting to turn green again, and flowers are popping up everywhere. The seasons are extremely hard for me to get used to, considering that I've always been a northern girl with a very set in stone idea of winter-spring-summer-fall, but I think I understand everything a little better now that I am here. Fall is a bit like spring here if you think about it - everyone stayed inside miserable and seasonally depressed all summer due to the extreme heat and drought, and fall is when they are starting to emerge and see green things and flowers and are able to enjoy the weather again. At least, that is my own direct experience... I imagine others feel much the same way about it.

Life, other than the horrible looming specter of uncertainty with Gogo, is good.


DressageIsToDance said...

I'm so sorry...I'm not sure what else to say. You have put your heart and soul into Gogo, and you did everything in your power to make her better, but sometimes, no matter what we do, we can't fix a problem.

You have given her a good life though, and I'm sure she knows how much you love her and have tried for her, and I'm sure she is grateful, whatever the outcome may be.

On the note of fall...low 80s sounds like late summer to me! We are already blanketing here. It's been 60s in the day, 40s at night for the past few days. I didn't have to take Amber's sheet off until after lunch today.

Breathe said...

I do wish she was feeling better. I know with Lilly she was horribly lame at the trot for months. It was six months before we saw any change, and it was so gradual I had no idea if we would get through it. And no one knew what it was about. I was told the same thing. She would have to be retired.

It took over a year and a few months, and some unconventional thinking. I keep hoping for the same with Gogo.

Of course I don't event, only trail ride.

You are right about Fall. There is no more glorious season in Texas. August nearly runs us off, September can be as bad, but October lures us back outside with it's sweet chilled breezes.

sally said...

Your Texas weather sounds lovely. It is spring here in NZ and tonight raining heavily with thunder shaking the house.
I'm sorry to hear the latest about Gogo ....I guess decisions are to be made. What a lucky horse to have you love her so much despite everything.Thoughts with you

phaedra96 said...

I have been following this for some time; I find the entire situation incredibly sad. Looking at the photos when you were competing and looking at her now. I know there is just nothing to say that will make anything better or make it go away. In the end, you will make the decision that is best for you and for her. Hang in there.

Diligent Horse said...

So sorry Andrea :(.

Denali's Mom said...

Ugh. I want to hop on a plane and fly down and give you both a hug. I'm so sorry Andrea. This sucks. Big hugs from Seattle. I wish I could do something. :( Love you.

We don't get fall. Our seasons are Rain, Rainy, Light Rain, and rain with sun breaks.

Leeshy-Lou said...

Hi Andrea. I've been reading along for a while, and Gee-whizz has that mare broken my heart.
Your posts are so detailed that it feels like I know her, and I'm suffering along with you!

I send my healing thoughts across the big sea. Fingers crossed for good news.

Liz said...


A couple months ago my gelding injured one - or more - tendons in his forelegs. My friend who was letting me board my horse at her place had her holistic horse dentist Krystin Dennis coming out that week. Krystin is very well-recommended and is knowledgeable beyond horse dentistry. She recommended this product to me:

for tendon issues. She said she'd had great luck with it prior. I'm rather familiar with a lot of the ingredients and they seem to make sense.

An option to consider! The website has other holistic supplements as well, I hope something can help out lady-horse. Wishing her a definite recovery and happiness, and wishing you strength and guidance to get you both through this ordeal! =)