Working at an equine rehab facility, I see lots of serious cases of lameness coming and going every day. Some of these are far worse off than Gogo, and some of them get better with the therapies that we do. There has been some talk about seeing what we can do for Gogo in terms of therapies and whatnot. Whenever we talk about it, I think, "yes! Wouldn't it be amazing if this or that helped her and we could make an amazing against-all-odds comeback!" I get thinking more and more about hope, and less and less about the fact that the vet deemed her to be permanently unrideable and that we are still considering euthanasia as a possibility. In other words, I may be living on the lunatic fringe, and I'm not sure if it should be considered healthy and positive, or dangerously emotional.
Truthfully, it is hard to justify trying to do more financially for this mare. I've dumped god knows how much money into this rehab, and not a cent of it has paid out. Why should anything be different now?
I have no plans to spend tons of money at this point on trying anything. It would just be silly to do so, especially when I have plenty of other expenses to worry about and I'm more broke now than I ever have been. I had been so ready and resigned to letting her go.... now I'm considering giving it one last try. Maybe I'm nuts.... but I have nothing more to lose except for her.
The AECs are currently underway in Chattahoochee Hills, GA, and I am just as unhappy about not being there this year as I was last year. I have a number of friends riding and am cheering them on from the sidelines, much like I did last year. I was all bummed out thinking about it last night when I made the mistake of going and looking at the coursewalks and photo/video coverage online, but thankfully I had Future Hubs there to snap me out of it. He's such a good down to earth kind of guy... I don't know where my head would be without him. I can't believe that in two days it will be two years since Gogo's original injury.... I can't even get my head around that. I've been a little all over the place as of late, but things in general are turning around for me. I'm back to working steadily for the first time in two months, I will be making relatively fair money between the rehab center and my growing little string of clients, and in general I'm getting along better than I have for quite some time now. It's just a matter of getting back on my feet again, as usual. As for the moment, I am still flat on my face, but at least I feel like I might be able to stand up soon.
Greenwood Horse Trials are at the end of this month. I haven't been to a horse trial as a spectator in over a year now. I think I'll go. Yes... that will be good for me, I think.
This face isn't ready to give up yet...
I don't think I am either.
Zac's 3 week update
18 hours ago