Custom blog header by Bre!
________________________________________

In Loving Memory...
~ Gogo Fatale ~


6/2/01 - 10/11/11
~ Forever the Marest of Them All ~
________________________________________


Friday, September 2, 2011

Grateful

I am overwhelmed by the response I got to my last post. E-mails, calls, texts, comments, and other blogposts came rolling in, all expressing grief and support for me and what I am unfortunately facing in the near future. I discussed my thoughts and views with my vet, and he is on board with me and my decision. Both of us believe that the life she is facing isn't going to be of any sort of fair quality, and that when she becomes more uncomfortable, it will be time to let her go - before she gets too bad. Our guess is that this will probably happen within the next month or two, considering how quickly she went downhill over the past month. She had cortisone injected into her tendon sheath again which helped to take away some of the fill in the sheath itself, but this won't affect the damage to the distal sesamoidean ligaments below it. There's nothing we can really do at this point except keep her comfortable and let her just be a horse. She loves and rules her herd of six with an iron fist but they adore her. That's where she wants and deserves to be.

We don't have a set date yet - we'll let her tell us - so for right now you guys are just going to get mega-spammed with as many pictures of her as I can possibly take. Right now I am just happy for any moment I have with her. I'm going to make sure she feels like the royalty that she is every second of every day.

In the future, I know I'll be looking for another horse. That's a given - I just can't live without them. But I think I'll make a brand new blog for that and leave this one intact and as-is as a tribute to her. Going back over old posts and remembering old stories is helping me through this, and being able to relive the memories like this is something I'll always be thankful for. I'm so glad I took the time to write this journey down, and so glad you all took part in it with me.


I've been away in Austin for a few days just trying to get my head on right and getting ready to face the future without her. I had an awesome lunch today with JenJ which was great. I've missed Gogo so much though while I've been gone and can't wait to get back to the barn. My poor sweet baby.




21 comments:

Chelsea said...

Andrea, I don't really know what to say but I feel like I need to say something. I've been reading your blog for well over two years. I have truly enjoyed reading your journey with Gogo and being able to witness the bond you two share..it is truly incredible and I've never seen a horse and person more well matched and more connected. I have so much respect and admiration for you and making this decision. Despite what science says, I hope you have at least a couple more months with her. She is an amazing horse (which I know I don't need to tell you) and you are an amazing rider and horse person for doing everything for her that you have. SO many people all around the country have been touched by your's and Gogo's story. Just know that we are all here for you and have grown really attached to you two. You are an inspiration and I hope to be as bonded to my horse someday as you and Gogo are.

I wish you luck in all of your future equine endeavours and will be cheering you on.

And as a sidenote, if our paths ever cross, I would be completely honored and flattered if you trimmed my horse. :)

Much love from Chelsea and Cruizer in Wisconsin.

Lisa said...

Oh Andrea, you don't deserve this again. I'm devastated for you.

:( :( :( :(

Sydney said...

That's such a hard but very responsible decision to make. Poor Gogo. I hope you can spend as many moments with her as you can. Having to make the decision to have a beloved horse put down is the most lonely feeling in the whole wide world. If I haven't said that enough already, I feel your pain.

Melissa said...

I'm so sorry to hear it. I hope Gogo gets as many sunshine and grass-filled days as she can in the next couple of months.

Despite never having met you - and the minor fact that you know nothing about me - I consider you a friend. I'm glad to hear that you intend to keep blogging. I for one would be happy to read updates about your life, your trimming work, and whatever else you've got going on whether it involves a horse of your own or not.

Please give Gogo a scritch for me and tell her I'm going to miss her goofy pictures and lady-tude. All my best to the both of you.

Young Equestrian said...

Even when she is gone, I am certain that she will still be with you. She is definitely your heart-horse, and nothing can possibly change that.

Julie K said...

Hey Andrea!

I'm soo sorry you have to go through this again. Like many other readers, I've been reading your blog for years. I love your style and Gogo is the bomb.com.

Savor every minute with her!

I think you made the right decision by letting her tell you when she's ready. Animals have a way of doing that.

And I'm looking forward to the mega spam of Gogo pictures!

Thanks for taking us along on your journey!

Snowhawk Przhevalsky said...

*sighs* I hate how unfair life is.

I'm so sorry that it has to come to this. I will continue sending my thoughts and prayer's your way. I know recovery isn't going to happen, but more for peace in the following days, weeks, and whatever time frame she feels like staying in.

Val said...

Andrea,

Yours was one of the first blogs that I ever stumbled across. I feel privileged to have shared your journey with Gogo through your candid, humorous, and heartfelt writings. I shared in your excitement when she was winning at the events and I have been hoping for her recovery ever since the original accident. I still hope for something good for you and Gogo, even if it is only to have peace.

If you would be interested to continue sharing your adventures as a rising hoofcare professional, horse or not, I would be honored to follow your work.

Sincerely and with love,
Val and Harley in New Jersey

Heidi said...

You are so strong, Andrea! I am always amazed when I read your blog, and I've been reading since Gogo's awesome competition days. You are right, it's completely priceless that you've documented your journey with her and can treasure this blog forever! You should get one of those blog-into-books printed so you can hold it in your hands :-) Enjoy every minute you can, and we will be thinking of you both.

SprinklerBandit said...

Thank you for doing what's best for her. Every day at the barn, I watched a poor old horse hobble around in pain because his owner (who doesn't visit) refuses to let him go and it just makes me hurt. I can't imagine what you're going through, but you've done (and documented) absolutely every possible thing for Gogo. I'm sure, in her own horsey way, she knows that.

I'm sorry.

Jo Belasco said...

I am sorry to hear all of this, but Gogo is so lucky to have you in her life. We never know how long we have with any of our friends, be they two-footed, four-footed, winged, finned, scaled or otherwise. You have given Gogo a great life and you continue to do so. Hugs and support for all you are going through. Hugs to Gogo, too, for being such a wonderful friend and partner to you. :-)

Net said...

I have nothing original to add, but just wanted to add my sympathy and thoughts. You are living my worst nightmare, and you are doing all you can do - the best you can, trying to keep her best interests at heart.

Gurrl said...

This is so sad. I found your blog two days ago and I have been reading it from the beginning. I love the honesty in every post and all the trials and tribulations. But what makes reading every old post bittersweet is knowing what the future is going to lead up to. Although I'm still in the 09's
the connection and love that you and Gogo share is over whelming. I've teared up reading a few things. It is going to suck major balls when Gogo's day comes. I am so sorry for what you're going through, and if I could wish it away I would.

Mrs. Exeter said...

Gogo is lucky to have such a thoughtful and selfless owner - I wish you both joy over the coming weeks.

Deered said...

At all times you have carefully thought and made the best decision for your horse with the information and knowledge that you have at the time.

That is the best that you can ever do. Second guessing just makes you miserable (I know, I'm very good at it!).

Look after yourself.

in2paints said...

My heart goes out to you and Gogo. No matter what the future holds, the bond the two of you share will last forever. Hugs to the both of you.

inkeq said...

I'm so sorry for this to happen to you. I don't know what else to say :(. But at the same time, I want to give you a pat on the back for how responsible you are in the care of your GoGo and what a truly great horsewoman you are. I was told by a friend when I laid my horse to rest, that it is a true horse person that can travel the journey and know when it's time to say goodbye, doing the right thing for the horse.

I'm so glad you have this blog to look back on. It will be such a wonderful thing to always remind yourself of this special time in your life and the horse you shared it with.

Thank you for sharing all you have with us about GoGo and I look forward to reading your new blog.

Paigley said...

andrea i'm so sorry, I've never lost a horse so i can't even imagine how hard it is. But i think your making the right choice,and even if you don't believe in heaven i'm sure whereever she goes will be filled with carrots and grey geldings to harrass :)

achieve1dream said...

My heart is breaking for you. This is the worst part of sharing our lives with these amazing animals. I'm glad you kept this blog for Gogo too. It will be a wonderful tribute full of amazing memories. I look forward to the pictures and I'm here if you need anything. So sorry you're going through this.

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

I'm so grateful for you, that you have SOME time at least to spend with her. I don't know if that makes it easier or harder....but I hope it's enjoyed. You offer so much to your animals, even in the very end. I am sure Gogo feels the love. She is a lucky girl

Marissa said...

I've been following your story for a while now and I just wanted to tell you that I hope, when it comes time for me to make decisions like this with my horse, that I can handle it as responsibly and compassionately as you are. It is heart-breaking and inspiring all at the same time. I'm glad you have such a wonderful support system to help you through this.