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In Loving Memory...
~ Gogo Fatale ~

6/2/01 - 10/11/11
~ Forever the Marest of Them All ~

Sunday, January 2, 2011

Wait a minute, when did 2011 happen?

Tada! It's the New Year! I can honestly say that I have absolutely never in my life cared less. I made only one single goal: to not rely on my goalmaking success for happiness. I have spent the past three years of my life meticulously planning out my year from January 1st on through show season, painstakingly setting up monthly and yearly goals, and planning to a T every clinic and show I planned on attending right down to every finance. It's pretty obvious that I can't do that this year. Every other New Years resolution I ever made complimented my competition schedule - exercising, dieting, etc. I made other small goals for myself too, of course, but nothing I didn't ever really regret not completing if I didn't.

This year, everything is different. I woke up on January 1st and felt exactly the same as the day before. I did not have any goals I was excited to get started on. I did not have anything in my forseeable future to plan for. We spent the night before down at the river, throwing away pieces of 2010 into the water as a symbolic letgo. I tossed in an old vet bill (paid of course!) to sybolize letting all of that endless heartache go. It was an incredible night, and a cleansing moment. Of course we were then nearly skewered by a wild boar who showed up on the riverbank. Or at least that's what we think it was... we heard crashing and squealing and decided we better not stick around long enough to find out.

As far as New Years Eves go, this one was amazing. I wish it had never ended, but of course it had to. I headed off to work the next day same as always, working a day that was just the same as before except quite a lot colder. I didn't make any goals. I didn't make any particular plans. I have ideas, but nothing concrete to name. It is oddly liberating, to tell you the truth. Something will come to me, I am sure. But as for right now, I am happy to just move with the wind until something comes clear.

I didn't make any goals for Gogo either. In fact, I think I am going to try and make a point of not making goals for now. She is happy being a chinchilla rolling in the dust every day, and her leg looks the same. Since I am once again her primary feeder, I am annoyed to find that apparently over the past year she has relearned her total attitude at feeding time that I had all but squashed out of her when I was her primary feeder before. It's nothing bad at all, but she makes some pretty surly faces that she never used to make before, and paws. I don't tolerate any sort of attitude from her, even if it's just an ugly face, so I have been creatively chasing her off with the mixing spoon we use to stir water into grain meals. I also refuse to approach her when she's making an ugly face. Only when she pricks her ears and looks at me in a friendly way do I bring her grain over. The spoon technique seems to be the most effective. The pawing has all but stopped after a few days of this, and the nasty faces are way less nasty and more quizzical. Hopefully we'll be back to normal pretty soon.

I also put her on the lunge yesterday for all of 25 seconds, just a few trot steps in each direction. She's still lame, but a fair bit less than she was when the injury first happened. We're only a month and a half our from the reinjury, which is nothing in the grand sceme of things. If we were still doing stall rest we wouldn't have even gone back yet for our first vet recheck. I think I will probably do this once a monthjust to see what she looks like, because it really can't hurt much at this point. Baby steps.

Really, there isn't much else to report. She's getting a thorough grooming, but not every day. She likes to be dirty and a horse for once, I think. She is happy to be out all day, and she completely trashes her stall every night. I for one really hope to get her out 24/7 in my backyard ASAP, seeing as that will be an additional perk.... not having to be on the receiving end of that pitchfork every day!

Big news-related things may or may not be coming soon. Pertaining to Gogo's living situation, I now have the option of keeping her in my landlord's 15-acre paddock, whcih also joins to a second 15 acres if I am interested. It's not quite my backyard, but it's close, so I will have to think about it and will have more on it later. I also may have something to ride! I don't know anything about the potential horse yet aside from his name, which is Trout. I dunno about you but I LOVE a weird name! More details as they come.

As for right now...

I am not making goals anymore for this year for Gogo. This may change at some point, but I have absolutely no expectations and I am not going to set myself up for failure and dissapointment.
I am not making resolutions for myself yet. I will when I decide the time is right.
I am letting things come as they will, and letting my interests point me in the right directions so that I can take the next step from here.
I am happy as a clam in this town and state. Really.

2010 feels a bit like it was a complete and utter waste, but I have a feeling that 2011 will be a total turnaround. I'm not sure why I get that feeling, but somewhere in my gut I know it's true. Something good is coming. Something really good.

Happy New Year!


in2paints said...

I'm going through many similar things with my mare and feel about like you do regarding 2010. Good riddance!

I also have a good feeling about 2011 (although I hate to actually type that into words just in case) and I hope it's good to all of our horses.

Happy New Year!

Sarah said...

Happy New Year! I enjoy reading your blog and following Gogo's activites and hope for the best for you guys in the new year and beyond. (you don't know me, but I met you briefly at the NE Hunter Trials 2010....I foxhunt with Brego's mom) I'm really interested to see what Texas is like where you are and hope you keep up the blog with photos and happenings this year! Cheers, Sarah

Dom said...

Sounds like 2011 is a good year for letting go of the reins, literally and figuratively, and letting life make the decisions for a while. Happy New Year. Looking forward to GoGo news.

Marissa said...

I feel the same way about 2010 for a variety of reasons, and this post gives me hope! I am trying very hard to fill myself with the sentiment that good things are coming. I'm not quite there yet but I'm working on it. I love your attitude -- going where things may take you and making your goals once they become clear. Brilliant plan as far as I'm concerned!

Kristen Eleni Shellenbarger said...

Good for you! :)
I agree with letting 2010 go..BUH BYE!!!!!!!!!!!

Dressager said...

Felt the same way Saturday morning, even with Greta GoLamely's issue! Nothing promising happened in 2010 until the very end, so I have my hopes way up for this year.

I think a year off for Gogo, the mild climate (at least until the summer) and to be able to constantly move around in the pasture will do wonders for her. Lots of luck for you and Miss Gogo!!!

kippen64 said...

I put too much effort into living my life to ever want to write off an entire year.

There have been some major pluses for you even though at the time they probably didn't feel that way. You live in a new location, have a new job and have been given impetus to to think about your long term future.

Christopher Bartle had a horse named Wily Trout. What is Trout like please? Is he young or older? Does he have any education and if yes, in what? What breed is he please?

My end of the challenge is still on, but I think you will beat me when it comes to buying the horse.

Em Tanner said...

Love you blog, and your horse! She is such a cutey!