Hello subjects, this is me, your Queen. I have a diabolical plan for all horses to carry out. So humans, stop reading. Because we can't let you in on our secret plans.
Ok horses. So here's what you should do. The next time your human does not groom you for an entire week and then finally gets around to cleaning you up, you need to repay them kindly for all their hard work. Say for example, your human totally neglects you and forgets about your existance for a whole week even though she is shoving cookies into your mouth every day like she really ISN'T neglecting and forgetting you (she IS, don't listen to her lies!). Then one day, she takes you out of your house and curries you REALLY well. Then she sees the dirt won't come off so she vacuums you. Then she sees how you have vacuum marks so she grooms you for a really long time. Then she sees how dirty your legs are so she washes all of them. Then she sees how dirty your tail is so she washes it. Then she sees how your tail is getting long so she clips and bangs it. Then she sees how your mane is getting long so she pulls it and braids it over. Then she sees how your whiskers and bridlepath are getting long too so she clips them too. Then she puts Keratex on your feets. Then she buffs you off with a big towel. Then she washes out your nostrils with a clean washcloth and cleans the bits of dinner off of your face. Then she steps back to admire how gleamingly clean and beautiful you are, after a whole hour and a half of cleaning work. Nice of her, yes?
The next day, go out into your turnout. Find the muddiest patch of mud you can find. Roll in it and grind it into both sides of your body. Twice. Then spook at the cows next door and gallop and buck and sling mud all up onto your belly and coat your legs so you can't even see your socks. Then come into heat and pee alllllllllllll over your legs and tail. Then when your mom sees you and shrieks in horror, blow snot into her face on purpose.
This my friends is the true meaning of love. Giving your human an excuse to spend even MORE time with you. And give you MORE cookies.
Ok humans. You can start reading again. My mommy says something about moving tomorrow to a big huge field somewhere.... I'm not sure how I feel about this but I hear there is a lot of GRASS, and I like GRASS. A LOT. She also wanted to share some good music with you. The only music I really like is the sound of food being poured into my bucket, but maybe that's just an opinion.
Zac's 3 week update
18 hours ago