Hi, this is Gogo, ruling Queen of the barn and Supreme Deity, coming to tell you a few things about the past two months of stall rest, because I have had a lot of time to think about these things. It is Very Boring, being in a stall, and I told my mother that I just HAD to start writing for her because she is being Too Boring in her blogging. WHO wants to hear about OTHER HORSES, I mean HONESTLY? James is a smelly smelly gelding who uses his own POOP for a PILLOW. He DOES this, I saw him when we were neighbors. And every day he has a brown FACE. WHO wants to ride a Poop Head. Honestly.
Here are 10 Things I Think You Really Need To Know About Me That Have Happened In The Past Two Months.
1) I made it safely through vaccination season. Remember last fall when I had that Very Bad Reaction? My mommy this spring decided that there should be no more of this nonsense, so she split up everything and gave the vaccines one at a time, once a week, with Banamine. Now, I don't normally mind these things, because I am above such things and getting worried about needles, but that was a lot of needles, for a lot of weeks. And she had just finished giving me seven doses of Adequan. Now really mommy, that is enough with the needles forever, okay?
2) My mommy says I am very fat. I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR THESE THINGS. She lets me eat grass two times a day for only TEN minutes at a time. When I should be eating grass for ten HOURS. But she says I am so fat she should tie string to me and float me in the Macy's Day Parade, and I am Very Angry when I hear these things. I just like FOOD, okay? And when I don't do anything, even though I don't even get any real grain, I gain weight because I am a HEALTHY BIG WOMAN. THERE. I said it.
3) No matter what my mommy had done for the past two months (or the past three years), my mane just won't lay down. My mommy keeps braiding the hair, and it keeps coming out and falling all over the place. And I say HA, you can control my feet but you can't control my HAIR.
4) Speaking of hair, I am also REFUSING to fully shed out. I have fluffy fuzz clinging to me everywhere and I say HA! You cannot rule my hair mommy. You can curry me until your arms fall off every single day, but these hairs are not going anywhere. Wait, why do you have a pair of clippers in your hand?
5) Mommy says my legs look really pretty good. When there is fill in them, she just walks me out of my stall and it always goes away. She seems to be very happy about this, I honestly don't care as long as we are walking out to get the grass. Mmm... grass.
6) I have Dirty Rotten Fungus Legs. Well not really, but since I had been soaking in the tub and my legs were hairy, even though my mother would towel my legs off every day, they were still sometimes damp when they got wrapped. So I got some fungus, and I have wavy hair on the front of my back legs. My mommy thinks this looks very silly and says she can't wait for me to shed it out, and then grow back some normal hair. She also stopped putting me in the tubba and opted for ice boots every day instead, which is easier and drier. So now my fungus is going away and I can't say I have Dirty Rotten Fungus Legs anymore.
7) Secretly, I am in love with my neighbor Ellie. She is sooooo pretty, even when she squeals at me and I attack the stall bars back at her. After that happens, she usually goes outside and I scream for her until she comes back. But that's our secret, don't tell Athos, he is always watching us because he has a fantasy about two mares.
8) My mommy tells me that now that I'm in a central stall, I am an Attention Whore. I do not know what this means, but I shall keep rattling my door until one of you comes over to bring me something to eat and explains it to me.
9) I go back to the vet next Thursday! They will put the Cold Drippy Gel on my legs again and see what they look like through the Picture Box, and then maybe my mommy will be able to get on me again and ride. And then, she will get to tell you lots of interesting bloggy stories because I intend to make her life very, very interesting.
10) Everybody loves me. But you all knew this, because YOU all love me. Because I am the Queen.
OK that is all I will say for now. Until then, think about ME, GOGO, and NOT smelly horses like smelly James or any other smelly thing my mommy writes about, because let's not forget who this is REALLY all about, ME, GOGO. OK bye.
The very special Ridgeway weekend
1 day ago