Tarsus Catharsis.

That was a clever title wasn't it?

Well, today was a try-again from yesterday's not-so-hot lesson where my emotions all finally caved in on me after several weeks worth of poor sleep, a demolished apartment, and a messed up relationship. Today I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do with her, but I ended up having a lesson at 2 with Vicki. She definitely was holding on to some residual tension from yesterday, as expected, but for the most part she worked out of it. She did have some explode-y moments in right lead canter when a butterfly flew into her face (oh god say it ain't so!!) and she flung her head into my lap and took off, but we got another successful right lead canter shortly thereafter:



There was nothing special or flashy about this ride. We did some lengthenings and some leg yields, but my only goal was to get relaxation, no matter what it looked like. And in that way, I think it was successful.

But. When I watched the video, I was rather upset to finally see what the judges have all been nailing me on in our trotwork - that lack of push from behind. There can be no impulsion without that extra push, and there can be no collection without impulsion. She just has nothing behind at all. Was she being lazy? Was I just taking the relaxation thing too far? One thing is for sure - she didn't move like that last year. There was much more movement in her hocks. She's moving incredibly even at the moment, jumping fabulously, galloping great, and hacking out tirelessly. But she has been having trouble with changes, and just... isn't as flashy as she was. Does that mean she hurts? Uncomfortable? Lazy? I don't know.

I just... don't think I'm going to be able to avoid injections anymore. I was hoping I could hold off til next spring, but I feel as though doing them after Riga, before the AECs, is probably a better idea. I just want to make sure she's comfortable and happy, that's all.


And as for me? I'm a freaking trainwreck right now. Something is going on in my left leg where all the muscles in my lower leg (calf and extensors muscle) are constantly cramped and tense, and while they do tend to improve on and off during the day, whenever I get on a horse my leg cramps again, and I have to unzip my boot and take my foot out of the stirrup. My toe points straight down whenever I do this, and I can't flex my heel back down until it relaxes a little. It's incredibly painful, and it's been making me sit a little bit crooked, which isn't helping the whole situation. I'm going to go the whole Ben-Gay and painkillers route... maybe this will work itself out on its own. I can't figure out what's causing it, and why it's only in this leg if it's a whole body problem (like lack of protein, dehydration, etc).


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But we're working hard. We're prepped and primed, even if this week hasn't really been the best. Sometimes, you just have to roll with the punches and forge onward, even if everything around you is in total and utter collapse. She's still one incredible mare, and I'm not a half bad jock. We're still forging ever onward, and we can do this. Against everything that's been going all awry, we can overcome it all. I'm going up there tomorrow to have a good look at the course, and see exactly what we're up against. But there's nothing we can't handle, nothing we can't do if we do it together.

And we're going to kick bootie patootie this weekend and show everyone the mettle we're made of.