Custom blog header by Bre!
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In Loving Memory...
~ Gogo Fatale ~


6/2/01 - 10/11/11
~ Forever the Marest of Them All ~
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Saturday, January 16, 2010

Wahe Guru


Gogo and I out for our "hack" on Wednesday.


Do you ever swear that horses know when things are up? I think sometimes they pick up on our emotional disturbances and make an extra effort to let us know we're appreciated. I know that's totally anthropomorphizing, but... sometimes I really feel like it's true. Regardless, Gogo was in a stunningly good and sweet mood today, the best I can remember her being in since the injury. I walked in the barn and first went to a client in the grooming stall who was worried about her horse because he hadn't finished his grain (he's fine). I heard a very demanding nicker behind me and turned around to see Gogo standing with her head out, staring intently at me. Normally she always pokes her head out whenever she hears my voice, but this was different, very insistent. I went over to see her, and scratched her neck over the stall door. She started grooming me very, very insistently, very thoroughly, just with her lip. She hardly EVER does this, even when I try and get her to reciprocate a scratch. When I stopped scratching her and tried to walk away, she wrapped her head around me and pulled me back in! She even ignored her hay for a good 10 or so minutes while watching me walk back and forth in the barn, just staring at me the entire time. She was in a ridiculously good mood all morning, watching everything around her while in her turnout, nibbling her hay, ears pricked the entire time.

This past Thursday, she graduated to the next size paddock (yay!!) AND to 15 minutes of trotwork. Very exciting! The paddock size (this was the first day out):




And today:





Ooops I've been spotted.




Yesterday, I opted for spa day instead of riding, because it was warm enough to do so. She was just hairy and gross, and as I'm accustomed to having a nice clipped horse in the winter, I just couldn't stand her nastiness anymore. Not to mention a more concerning factor: she is FAT and I have a half-hearted hope that maybe now she'll use calories trying to keep warm. In a heated barn with a haircoat on light work.... it's not easy to stay trim. Once I got to clipping, what I thought was a big nasty haircoat ended up being hardly any hair at all, so it was a quick job. The lighting wasn't the best, so I realized today that I REALLY missed some spots! It wasn't quite the freakishly good clip job that I did last year, but it's not so bad. We stood her up today for pictures:





Holy CRAP is she ever fat. I'm practically starving her and I still can't get her to shed those pounds. I guess they probably won't go away until we get into real gallop-type work... but that's a couple months away yet.

But isn't she pretty. Look at the bionic tail!


Under saddle today, Gogo continued her freakishly bright, cheerful, happy streak, and was nothing less than amazing. She was light, responsive, connected, and best of all, NOT spooky at the scary end of the ring! She's finally stopped leaping around whenever the door moves at the scary end of the ring, but even up until a few days ago she was still putting her head up and scooting past the door quickly every time we passed. Not today! Today she was just feeling GOOD. I let her pick a trot rhythm that was comfortable for her, and off she went, power trotting around the ring like Superwoman, still connected and using her entire body with every step. It felt great, and she felt so sound and strong. I didn't let her go at the bigger pace for very long, but instead experimented to see how much she'd stretch - she practically put her nose on the ground, still in the big trot, still swinging and connected. I haven't been able to try and stretch her at the trot for a LONG time for fear that if she went bolting off I wouldn't be able to stop her in a timely manner. Not only did I get to ride her long and low her today, but she gave me that extraordinary stretch. I think all this walk work is really quite helpful. It gets us both to slow things down and take them piece by piece, ironing out the kinks and figuring out exactly where out bodies need to be. She just felt AWESOME today.


Not to mention the weather was a balmy 45 degrees today, and the scenery around the barn has just been amazingly gorgeous:






I dunno why Gogo was in such a fantastic mood all day, but it made me feel great. I can't not be thankful for Metro's sacrifice today, and remember what he gave to me when he died: the barefoot cause, an undying drive to help the injured around me, and a chance to let a little Gogomare into my life. Thank you Cookieman. I really appreciated today.

Metro.


Today's the day. It's been four years since my Metro died. I just... don't believe it. I don't know what more there is to write about him. I made a tribute to him last year, and I must have been really upset while writing it - the sentence structure and grammar make it sound like I was biting chunks off the keyboard - but the sentiment is there, and the story.











He was really something else.




I want to share this picture too because it's incredibly eerie. Have you ever seen those ghost shows on TV where they show you pictures of ghost orbs? Me being me I think it's a bunch of baloney... except for this one case. This was taken maybe an hour after he was buried, along with another series of similar pictures. It wasn't snowing or raining, we were outside where there was no dust floating around, and there was no flash with the picture. None of the other pictures had this, just this one. And they can't be snow, they're moving UP. It's really, really weird. Normally I never buy into stuff like that but sometimes... as odd as it seems, it makes some sense.



There is plenty to write about Gogo, but not today. Today, I don't want to write much at all. Today, I just want to remember without words the time Metro and I spent together. I miss him, and I don't have the language to describe it any more.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Picture of the Day

I am happy to report that I'm feeling a whole lot better. Apparently I had a bad day like everybody does. I don't normally have bad days, it was weird!

Gogo was completely outstanding yesterday, even though she was spooky and a little hot because of that (she hadn't had her turnout yet). However, it wasn't out of control and it wasn't bad, because it gave me a very finite sense of where I could ask her to go without her losing it. On days when I let her go there instead of asking, she is always better. I was totally thrilled with our ride (even with a few butt-squinching scoots and something vaguely resembling a dolphin buck), and I'm really liking the borrowed KK Ultra eggbutt. There is no way in HELL that I can a) afford that or b) justify trying to afford that, but I can look around on Ebay for similar mouthpieces and metals. I've been riding her without the noseband again, and I like it. I think it also makes me a better rider because if I do something obnoxious with my hands, she's going to show me loud and clear.

This post is short, because I'm off to clean stalls shortly, but I just wanted to give you guys an adorable Picture of the Day, which I've probably posted before but wanted to share again:



Gogo out in the snow, back in 2006, before I sent her off to the crazy trainer. She's the best ridiculous face maker ever.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Completely weird.

I had a completely weird experience today, which I am not happy about. I swapped my regular Wednesday off so I could have this Saturday off instead, in preparation for the Area I Annual Meeting. For whatever reason, I woke up in a funk. I've been sick for almost two weeks now, with no sign of improving, and I struggle with wintertime anyway, so I wasn't surprised. I battled my way through the miserable arctic weather while cleaning stalls this morning, went back and forth about whether or not I really wanted to go to the meeting, decided not to go, then decided at the last second that I really DID want to go. I went all the way up there, found the place after getting repeatedly lost (Springfield is a GPS black hole), got to the meeting, and was suddenly overwhelmed with the prospect of my total alone-ness. People all around me were calling out to each other, embracing, talking animatedly to people they hadn't seen in a long time, and all sitting down together in their little groups at round tables. I wandered around, looking for a friendly face, anyone I knew. Nope, nobody. Not a single person. I felt very much like I was walking in on somebody's family holiday party, a total stranger amongst a huge group of friends. It was weird, and uncomfortable, though it was certainly no one's direct doing. Those of you who have met me know that I don't even know what being socially awkward means for the most part. I'm that weird person that just walks up to total strangers and introduces myself and makes new friends, it's just what I do. I've always been that way, I don't really get why people have trouble making friends or starting conversations because I never do. But for some reason, today I felt like I was interrupting. There were so many people seeing others that they hadn't seen in so long, and I just... wasn't a part of that. I felt weird, like I shouldn't be there. So... I left.

In retrospect, I'm really not sure what came over me. I've been feeling really weird about my ex-fiancee and missing her quite a lot, and I think that had a large part to do with it. She always came with me to things like this, and without her around it's been like a giant black hole when it comes to things like shows and banquets and travel and whatnot. I also felt kind of dirty, like I don't deserve the Year-End awards I'm supposed to be getting. I mean, my last act of the season was to break my horse, why should I get recognized for that? That's clearly not the actual case, but I feel odd about accepting awards in front of people when I clearly don't deserve them.

Have you ever felt weird about stuff like that? I've never in my life had that kind of an experience. Maybe I'm just having an off day.





But, in other news, I am happy to report that Gogo went on her first "hack"! It wasn't much, just a little wander around the barn on flat ground for about 10 minutes, but it was outside and it was very enjoyable. She was very quiet and happy to be out, and we even went over and looked at the little XC jumps that we have on the property:



I'm hoping to integrate a little "hack" into our daily workweek. I think it'll be very good for her brain to get out and just meander a little bit. Once she starts trotting for 15 minutes (this coming Thursday), we can start to add incline work on the treadmill, so I also hope with the vet's blessing to start walking up tiny little hills again sometime soon.



I dunno what's gotten into me today. But little hacks and things like that seem a lot more important to me nowadays than awards.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The World's Ugliest Tack

First off, I can't say enough thank yous to Bre from G is for Greta. She made my most awesome new banner and I am eternally grateful. IT'S AWESOME ISN'T IT!


I am very happy with Gogo's progress. She's been consistantly going outside like her good old normal self, standing around and eating hay while the other horses run and play like idiots, paying no mind to them or merely casting an ugly look whenever one of them runs too close to her fence and subsequent haypile. Even after being trapped inside for two days (we literally had an ongoing blizzard with 60mph gusts, sideways snow, and negative degree windchills), she went outside yesterday, and when released, she did a tiny hop, all four feet of the ground, and then went and ate her hay quietly for two hours. Nice.
Also due to the horrible weather, I didn't ride her for two days. Our indoor unfortunately had 5 doors, all of which rattle in the wind. I've propped stuff against them but she still had it in her head that horse-eating door monsters were lurking behind every one, something that isn't helped by the fact that our barn cats like to randomly pop over the top of them in front of horses and go streaking across the arena. The horses, of course, are all now quite convinced that we have a horde of cheetahs lurking behind every corner. You've seen the ridiculous video of Gogo reacting to the door moving - that's why I've been lightly sedating her before every ride! Today's ride, though, brought some changes. Today was the first day I didn't drug her in quite some time, and she was excellent. No spooking, even when the door jumped and rattled! This is good progress. I think now that we're up to 40 minutes of work, she's finally relaxing and realizing that we are in fact in a program and she will be able to get her energy out. Or maybe she's just waiting to catch me unawares, I'm not sure.

Something else changed today, just experimentally, and I like how it went. Gogo normally goes in a flash, but she's not really fond of it. She tends to be a bit of a jaw-crosser, primarily working her jaw to the left, which goes along with her general one-sidedness. The interesting thing, however, is that with no noseband at all, she doesn't do this, so it seems less a pain issue and more of a feeling restricted issue. With a noseband, no matter how loose or tight, she tends to 'bounce' her jaw off of it. I rode her without one yesterday just to see how it went (I rode her without one quite a lot in 2008), and as usual, it went fine. However, you need a noseband for dressage - it's not legal without one. She goes well in a figure-8, which helps with the crossing, but I wanted today to try a drop noseband on her to see if it made a difference.



Ewwwww!!! That HAS to be the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It was a little hard to fit because she has THE smallest mouth you've ever seen, and trying to fit the noseband below the bit was hard because there's not much room there! Now, here's the interesting part and I wonder if this isn't the root of the problem - see the weird lumpiness where you'd normally have a halter across the bridge of her nose? That is leftover scarring from where the Crazy Trainer shanked the bejeesus out of her. She had big white scars across her nose when we first got her back, which have thankfully all gone away, but the indents and lumps remain. Perhaps this is some weird residual mental or physical issue? (I'm considering borrowing one of these and seeing if that does anything.) I also wanted to try that bit in particular (a KK Ultra eggbutt) because she likes the stability an eggbutt provides. And actually, she was great. I dunno if the drop was really all that helpful - I think her mouth is just too small and short, it sounded like it was restricting her breathing a little - but the bit is definitely something I'd like to invest in. I'll try the drop for a couple more days and see if there's any difference, but we'll play around with nosebands to see what I want to stick with. The thing that annoys me about the drop? IT'S SO DAMN UGLY! Which is, of course, why it fell out of favor with today's DQs and why the flash became popular instead: drops make heads look plain. I love my dear horse, of course, but she has an exceptionally plain and lumpy head, so I certainly don't want to showcase lumpiness if I don't have to. We'll keep playing around with it and see what happens.


I saw four of my boss' show horses off to Florida this morning at 5am, so after they left, Gogo moved back to the New Barn to her old stall. And promptly, of course, settled in and took a nap:




Mmmmmmmmmmsleepytime. Sleepytime for me too, I'm exhausted, and still very ill. Bleugh.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

End of December Analysis

I apologize for not doing this a little sooner - I am one sick puppy right now. Time to go over all our December goals! Well, they weren't really goals - more like guidelines - but we were able to accomplish them all, which makes me feel very good. Baby steps, baby steps.


December Goals:

1) Continue successful walk work under saddle, building to 30 minutes and working on very simple on the bit work

Success! We progressed to very simple serpentines and large circles, and even a few very shallow leg yields. I don't do much, just because I don't dare risk stressing those legs, but walk work is relatively low impact, and at this point in our rehab, we're safe to carry on with slowly increasing levels of difficulty.

2) Take our first trot steps in 3 months and not be lame/freak out
Success! She feels great! Except she's... a little high energy. So there's been some freaking out, but as of late, it's been completely curbed. Thank you drugs. Sweet.

3) Fully plan out rehab schedule for the next 3 months
Success! Well, for the next two and a half months, anyway. We're set through the first week or so of March, tentatively. As I'm at work right now, I don't have a screenshot of Gogo's Fancy Daily calendar, but I will get one up later. I've never shown you guys The Calendar! It's pretty epic, so be prepared. If you guys think I'm an organized freak now, this is going to take that image to a new level.

4) Start looking ahead to next show season and make very tentative plans

Success! I've tentatively decided on all the events I want to do next year, but not branched out into other things just yet. I want to also pick up a dressage show or two (probably schooling, because I'm not pointchasing there so I see no reason to spend extra $$$), maybe a schooling jumper show (but now that I have a huge array of gorgeous and expensive jumps at my disposal, I don't think I'll end up doing that), a competitive trail ride (just for fun, why not, she'd be great at it!), and a couple of hunter trials/hunter paces. Now that I've written all that out, it seems like a lot, so it'll be likely I won't end up making concrete plans for half those things. But as it stands, the tentative eventing event schedule is as thus:
May 29: Mystic Valley Hunt Club H.T. (N)
June 25-27: Groton house Farm H.T. (T)
July 24-25: Fitch's Corner H.T. (T)
August 5-8: Millbrook H.T. (T)
August 14-15: GMHA H.T. (T)
September 9-12: AECs! (T)
October 2-3: UNH H.T. (at whatever level we're ready for!)
Obviously, this is all soundness pending. But I'm feeling very, very good about the upcoming season. I have no idea when Area Championships are going to be, but I'm a bit sour from the past two years of disaster at Areas, so maybe we'll just be skipping those til our luck improves!

5) Have Gogo chiropractically adjusted
Success! And it wasn't nearly as horrible as I expected. Mostly what he said was that her posture was bad from standing around like a lazy lump in a stall for 3 months, which isn't really surprising. But her SI stuff wasn't too dramatic at all, which I was very happy about!



January Goals:
1) Continue sound trotwork and build to 20 minutes of trotwork - 50 minutes of riding total a day (we are at 40 now with 10 minutes of trot a day)
2) Talk to the vets about when to schedule her next ultrasound (I'm thinking instead of mid-January, we want to shoot for mid-February before we start to canter)
3) Take our first little hack outside (flat ground, around the barn)
4) Set up show budget and breeding budget - how much do I need to save, how much each month, etc?
5) Add incline work on the treadmill



Sweet!


By the way, who am I going to be seeing at Area I's Annual Meeting? It's coming up fast (next Saturday!) anf if any of you guys are going, let me know!

Friday, January 1, 2010

It's Gonna Be a Happy New Year

Yes, indeed it is! 2010 is here and we can finally let the last decade die in peace. How weird is it that ten years ago I was still in middle school, standing around at Epcot in Disney World waiting for Y2K to shut off all the fireworks and lights? Aaaah, ten years come and come. We've learned many things in the past decade, answered many burning questions such as... how does one unfreeze an iPod? Should I shake it like a salt shaker or a Polaroid picture? Should I vote for Kerry just so Bush won't win? A decade where somebody finally realized that skinny shirts were out, skinny jeans were in, and skinny models should finally eat some more sandwiches. A decade where buildings got attacked, space shuttles fell out of the sky, and long wars started. A decade that gave us Facebook, Twitter, the iPhone, publicly available hybrid cars, and the pinnacle of human achivement, the Snuggie. A decade where I entered and finished both high school and college, owned all three of my horses, and saw many pets, family members, and friends come and go. It's quite remarkable to look back on it all and realize just what a huge amount of time a decade really is, especially for someone like me who is not quite two and a half decades old. That's practically half my life right there. That's crazy.


As is tradition, it's time to go over all the 2009 goals I set for myself and for Gogo, and to come up with new 2010 goals. 2009 was sort of a hazy year for me - started out SO strong (winning three events in a row!) and then ending on such a crappy note (a RF, a last place finish, a 5th after a rail, and a tendon injury!), so it wasn't quite what I had hoped for. Most of these goals didn't get accomplished at all.


2009 Goals:

1) Qualify for and attend the AECs at Novice – place top 10
Well, we easily qualified for them, and we attended them, and we WOULD have finished 4th out of 40 people. I suppose I consider this goal not totally a failed completion. Freak things can and do happen, things we would have never guessed could have. The fact that she kept going through that challenging course while being seriously injured unbeknownst to me and never questioned a thing or hesitated anywhere means more to me than any placing could, because of the heart and guts she showed. She just kept going. That takes a special horse to just keep going.

2) Break 70% (at First Level or Novice/Training)

We did in fact do that! But only once, which was a little dissapointing. While the average of our overall scores went down - and was VERY consistant - our lowest score was still only a 29.5. That's not as low as I want it. We'll work harder at that this year,

3) Show First Level 1-4
Nope. I just didn't have the finances.

4) Hopefully show Second Level 1-2 (not an official goal, due to money constraints)
See above. Hopefully this year.

5) Show Training Level eventing
Again, we WOULD have done this had she not injured herself at the AECs. She was mentally ready and she was definitely fit enough. So not a TOTALLY failed goal, just an uncompleted one due to circumstances beyond my control.



The goals I set for myself last year are also for the most part incompletions, or total failures. My problem ended up being this: I spent too much time focusing on my horse, and not enough time on myself. Which you know, certainly could be worse, but I am a firm believers that all people should have other things they love and enjoy to do away from their careers and career-like things. If I had a desk job somewhere, then of course my horse would be the perfect outlet away from that, but she's a large part of my daily career work, as are all her horsey comrades. I think it's very healthy to maintain other fun pastimes too, because of focused I get on just her. For most of this past year, she's been my entire life. Everything I've done from waking in the morning to sleeping at night has revolved totally around her. And that's great when things are going swimmingly, but extra devastating when things aren't - I had nothing else to turn to that I was putting any sort of emotion into. One of the (very) few good things about her lay-up has been that I've had so much extra time to do all the stuff I enjoy but don't have time to do when she's in heavy training. I focused a lot on myself. I go to go on small vacations. I traveled a bit, I spent more time with friends, I painted and wrote, and I did a lot of yoga and reading. It was nice, just getting to go for a stroll in the woods and not think about my next upcoming show. So this upcoming show season, while I won't be any less driven in the slightest, I fully intend on letting myself be a multifacited person. Sometimes I get so focused on one thing, I forget all the other aspects of my being. I'm crazy about skiing. I love to exercise. I love getting my hair done and a new pair of shoes. I adore sailing, travel, and walking up to total strangers to strike up a conversation. I have to allow myself time for these things this coming year. That way, if something else happens that's not in my favor (but it WON'T because I SAID SO), my whole life won't feel totally ruined.

The other problem with last year's list? It wasn't specific enough. It was very vague, and so therefore I had nothing concrete to hang on to or to focus on. Things never got done because I didn't have enough of an idea of what I really wanted to do in the first place. I'm starting over this year with a more difinitive list, both for myself and for Gogo. And for both of us, there will be a bigger list of things that are NOT just sport.

So, without further ado, our yearly goals.




2010 Goals:


Gogo:
Qualify for and attend the AECs at Training Level, top 10 finish
Break 70% at First Level or Training Level (Score in 20’s)
Show 1st level 1-4 (Schooling or recognized)
Show 2nd Level 1-2 (Schooling or recognized)
If finances are available, show in GMHA’s N3DE (do the T3DE next year!) – or at least attend/support/volunteer/donate to it
Take her to Holsteiner approvals and get into the MMB
Do some fun competition type things: the 2010 Equine Affaire Versatily Horse & Rider Competition, a competitive trail ride, hunter trials/hunter paces
Go foxhunting!


Me:
Travel as much as I can – Madagascar/Egypt/? At the end of the year
Complete the 100 Pushups/200 Situps/25 Pullups/200 Squats challenges
Learn how to run barefoot and compete in a 5k barefoot
Do yoga once (or twice) every week
Eat healthier – buy fresh food every week and learn to MAKE IT
Save money for other things than the necessary – shows, and breeding next year
During the winter, ski every Wednesday that weather allows
Complete Metro's scrapbook
Have a poem published
Finish Patrick painting




Now there's two or three things in there that might have caught your eye. First, it's true - GMHA is running a Novice 3-Day this year. THAT IS AMAZING. If I am still point-chasing, it's unlikely that I'd be able to do this, as they're running it a couple of days before their regular event. But if I can't ride in it, I still fully intend to support it, either through volunteer work or financially. With the time we've lost and my inability to really find someone out here that I'd really like to train with (any suggestions?), doing the T3DE is not a viable option this year, sadly. I don't have the qualifications or the knowledge to do that alone. I need a teacher and a guide. But you never know, maybe someone amazing will come along and we'll try for it!

Secondly, did you say breeding? Yes, that's the plan - finally, I'm in a situation where I will be financially strong enough, as well as be in a stable living/job situation, where I will be able to breed her in the summer of 2011. The goal all along has been to breed her before the age of 11, then go back and compete for several more years before retiring her as a broodmare. It is infinitely easier to get a younger maiden mare pregnant and mainain it to term rather than an older maiden mare, and it's actually quite common in Europe for a mare owner to breed the mare at the age of 3, foal out and see what's she's capable of producing, then break and train the mare until she's older and ready to be retired to be a full-time mom. Young bodies are good at these kinds of things, and old bodies are more concerned with keeping just themselves healthy and going. So for mid-late summer 2011, I am finally setting it all down in stone. Two and a half years from now, expect to be introduced to a bouncing, rearing bundle of joy. I can't WAIT already!! BUT, clearly that is a long way away, and I need to start planning and saving now if that's what I really want to do. All the pieces are ready to fall into place - I even have an inexpensive place to keep the wee one when he/she is weaned for very cheap... right here in my backyard! Turnout all day and an arena and everything! If that's not a great situation, I don't know what is.

Thirdly, did you say... running barefoot? In all the commotion in the past few posts about barefoot horses and barefoot human athletes, I got to thinking about it. Here's the thing: I LOVE to run. But I've essentially stopped every time I've really gotten into it because of the horrible pain it caused me. Knee pain, back pain, shin splints, cramps in my feet, and let's not even get me started on my bad hip. I was running in crappy shoes at the time and attributed it to that. I went out and got myself a fancy pair of running shoes and tried again, and strangely enough, the pains in my feet got way, way worse. I would have to stop mid-run sometimes because of the shooting cramps I'd get in my arches. It was weird, it didn't make sense. So now here I am, getting fat on the couch while my horse gets fat in her stall. I'm not running because my feet and my body hurt when I do it regularly. I have pretty good form... so what's the problem?
And then I had a lightbulb moment when everyone was bickering about it. Why not try running barefoot myself? It sounds ridiculous really, when I write it down, but I'm serious. If it worked so well for my horse, maybe it could work for me too. It's quite the same set of principles - nature gave us these feet and intended us to use them unfettered, and it's quite a growing movement. The human evolved as a bipedal walking/running machine, meant to be on their feet and going all day long. If I want to try this, I need to do some serious research and ask some very real questions. If it hurts me too much to run in shoes, maybe I should just try without them, and see what happens. Who knows? I might come back swearing with glass in my foot and write the whole thing off. But maybe, just maybe, it'll change me as an athlete for all time. I'm a novice runner - a very novice runner - but I want to do it and I want to do it a lot. I love it. I am no Stacey but I do want to try, late in the year, a 5k road race. Maybe I'll end up back in running shoes - who knows? But maybe not. It'll be an interesting experiment, and a sweet way to run a little bit of a parallel to the nekked hooves movement. I know what it's like to be an athlete limited by my shoes! So stay tuned to see what happens on that front.


Happy New Year, everyone!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Quick Clarification.

Because I've inevitably gotten a bit of the sour grapes thing going with the comments on my last post (which, of course, we all knew were coming), I thought I would clarify one or two things.

Firstly, and I've said this many, many times before, I'm not crazy barefoot Nazi. I'm not out to tell anyone what to do with their horses ever. I actually try to avoid giving people advice unless they specifically ask for it, and even then I'm hesitant, because I don't like when people do it to me. There are insane barefoot freaks who say that shoes are evil and cruel and that no horse should ever wear them ever. I think they're nuts! There are also people who say that you HAVE to shoe a horse to do anything beyond stand around in a field. I think they're nuts too! It takes all kinds for the world to go round, and I do my best to keep an open mind. I keep saying this over and over, if this were a matter of Gogo needing to be shod, then I'd do it. I'm not out to prove anything, I'm here to just try and enjoy my time with my mare and do the best I can by her. Nobody feels worse than me when something bad happens to her. I hate to say it, but I really can't be bothered to care whether or not people around me shoe their horses or not. I've really got better things to do with my time than get all crazy on people. This is a public blog meant for sharing my own personal journey, and like all public things on teh great interwebz, somebody's going to disagree. So what? That's what makes the world interesting. I know for a fact that plenty of my readers regularly shoe their horses and that's what works for them. Keeping Gogo barefoot is what works for me. She's been barefoot for years, she's never tender, never gets chips or cracks or ouchiness or anything. She's a freak of domesticated nature. So I keep going because she gives me the green light to do so.

Secondly, I'm not making excuses and trying to direct attention away from her barefootedness as a source of the slipping issue. Yep, she's barefoot and she slipped. Related? I can't stay that it's not! I just think there's more to it than that. If she were regularly slipping and sliding out on XC, then yes, obviously we'd need to address this as purely a traction issue. In this particular case it's just not that easy.

Thirdly, can I PLEASE reiterate that I'm not a crazy barefoot person trying to press her lifestyle on others? Seriously. It's the same accusation people make that by merely existing, my gayness is invalidating straight marriages everywhere as we speak. By merely sharing my barefoot journey, I am not invalidating shod horses everywhere. I'm doing what works for me. Doesn't work for you? Let's agree to disagree and have a conversation about it. The finger-pointing and name-calling are a little shocking and quite frankly, I'm surprised at how nasty it's gotten. I feel like I've done by best to be neutral about my stances. I'm certainly not walking up to barns nationwide and pounding their doors down until they listen to my crazy opinions. I'm just sharing the journey.

Fourthly, this is the first real issue Gogo has ever had. I've had her for over three years and this is her first injury, and I'm pretty sure it was my doing. So the accusations that it's always "one thing after another" with her and that she's constantly broken are seriously out of left field and I'm quite frankly confused because I'm not really sure where that came from! She's been disturbingly sound and problem-free until now, on all types of terrain and at all speeds. We always made fun of how low-maintenance she is, at least physically. And given how freakishly well she's healing, I can only conclude that she's just a hardy, healthy soul who's had a rough couple of months. Can I mention again (like I keep doing) that she just had a bone scan and those "problem hocks" and her back were as without inflammation as could be? The vet made a point of telling me so. So what can I deduce from this and from those comments that she "lacks push from behind" in her trotwork (never her canterwork or walk work, I should mention)? It's probably me! I'm no Rolex rider. I'm just some Smurf trying to do my best.

And finally, I've also been accused of being a close-minded know-it-all. Which, really, is a rude accussation from a total stranger who doesn't know me in real life, so I can hardly in reality be offended. I try my best to keep an open mind - hell, how do you think I got into this barefoot stuff anyway? Because I try to learn about new ways of doing things and if something seems intriguing, I try it. If it works, I learn and aborb. If it doesn't, I learn and absorb. I know - we all know - that we've all only just scratched the surface of the collective world's knowledge. It's the name-calling and finger-pointing from those who come from one side and have NOT tried the other that I would tag as close-minded. I've tried shoes, believe me! It was because of my prior journey with shoes that I became interested in the barefoot thing. I KNOW both sides. So don't knock it til you've tried it, or until you at least understand it a little better. If it doesn't work for you, then at least you can accept that it DOES work for somebody else.




I'm not out to prove anything, to convert anyone, to tell anyone they're wrong, or to tell anyone they're right either. I'm just trying to do the best I can by my horse, even if people, for whatever reason, think I'm not. Those of you that know me in person know better, and quite frankly, you're the only people that matter to me anyway.


Over and out!

Monday, December 28, 2009

The Elephant in the Corner.

((Edit: Due to an influx in random comment spam about Viagra and the fact that I want to know who is leaving comments on complicated posts such as this one, I've had to disable anonymous posting for now. Sorry for the inconvenience.))





It's high time I touched on a subject I've been vastly avoiding for the past three months. I've heard the question asked so many times now that I have no choice but to confront it. The skeptics, the critics, the naysayers are all gleefully certain that I have failed in my barefoot quest, that obviously because of the incident at the AECs I am destined to fail and will surely change my sordid ways now. I hear the question everywhere I go, from everyone I talk to: Will you shoe your horse now?

The answer, my readers, is no.


No, I will not alter what I consider to be the best horsecare decision I have ever made, and after this long post you will understand why. I hope that by now those that know me understand that I am here on earth to make the best decisions I can for my horse's health and well-being. If that were to mean shoeing her, I would. If that were to mean giving up eventing, I would. But it doesn't. I have quite a lot to say on the matter, so get comfortable. Knowing what I know about feet - seeing what I've seen - I just can't go back. Taking the barefoot route is a choice for her health, and I will not choose metal shoes for my convenience. There has to be a better way to provide traction and protection for those that need it. There HAS to be. And do I need it beyond what I already have? Quite frankly, no, I don't.

Let's first talk about the mechanics of a bare foot versus a studded foot. The bare hoof has a certain amount of natural slide engineered into it. You want the foot to have a little wiggle room when it lands because it cushions the impact and lessens strain and the likelihood of subsequent injury. That being said, a bare hoof is surprisingly "grippy" on most footings. In a lot of scenarios, a bare hoof is actually a better option than a regular smooth shod hoof because flat steel/aluminum/whathaveyou can be VERY slick. The bare hoof might have a little give, but the metal shoe once it starts to slide doesn't stop. Think about wintertime for example - not a sane soul would keep a horse smooth shod around an icy, snowy, hilly place. Everyone either goes bare for the winter or uses caulks/borium. It's a similar situation on grass - smooth shod hooves are just too slippery. So that leaves me two options essentially - staying bare or going with something with caulks. The big question is, do I want a little bit of give to lesson the beating a leg takes while in action and risk a bigger slide than I want, or do I want to potentially torque and damage a leg through not allowing it that natural slide when it needs it? In a normal situation, a bare hoof actually provides a surprising amount of traction, much more than a smooth shod hoof. A nice, cuppy foot holds ground very well, and varied, texturized structures on the bottom of the foot increase surface area and the "grippy" factor in most situations. At the AECs, what I failed to take into account was the footing that day, because it seemed just fine at first glance. My horse had been going round the soaking wet mountains of New England all season with not ONE single slip anymore - or ever in her entire LIFE that I can EVER remember! - so I felt pretty invincible. Imagine how stupid I felt when the beautiful, totally flat footing proved dangerously slick - unlike my soft, wet New England hills, this footing was rock hard but covered with a layer of wet, slick, long grass... like a sheet of ice. In some circumstances, no one can cope with footing situations like that. Let me say this in bold to stress its importance: All feet - flat shod, barefoot, borium, calks, studs, boots, anything - can slip under the right circumstances. Your average horse weighs between 1000-1200lbs. A tiny piece of studded metal nailed to the bottom of a foot is realistically not going to stop a slide if the conditions are right. Case in point - at the AECs, the day before I ran XC, at right about the same time in the morning that I ran XC, a Prelim horse with studs all around slid right about where I slid, in no relation to any fences. My horse caught herself and continued on. That horse slid, fell, fractured its scapula, and had to be euthanized. At a Championship show, monkeys are not going around riding at Prelim. This was obviously a competent pair. Studs did not help that horse in that situation. And, quite frankly, I wonder what would have happened had I been riding a studded horse. Either the studs would have stopped the slide, or they would have seriously compounded her injuries. As it stands, I feel lucky that the damage was as minimal as it was. It could have been worse.... so much worse. And one of the reasons I believe she is recovering as rapidly as she is now is because she is bare. The blood flow in that foot is uninhibited, and free to bring a rich supply of nutrients and fibroblasts to the site of the injury. It's helping her heal.

When it comes to caulks, it takes two to tango - the foot needs to come in contact with the ground for the studs to take effect obviously, but the ground has to be firm enough to match the force and return the hold. Sure, calks add traction, but not all the time. At Huntington, for example, the stadium footing was horrible and soaking wet. You know that turf that just comes up when you step on it, the kind that you could grab a handful of and the grass would just release from the mud underneath it? That's the kind it was. No foot - studded or otherwise - is going to negotiate that well. I actually watched a studded horse refuse a fence from well over a few strides out, and he sat on his haunches like a reining horse and slid.... and slid.... and slid..... and slid, right into the fence, nearly flipping over backwards on his rider because his hind end rocketed underneath himself so fast that the rest of him didn't have time to catch up. Did Gogo negotiate that footing well? Nope. (And I have a feeling I know why that is, but I will explain that shortly). The girl who won my division had a quick, catty little horse who, as she described it, skipped right over the footing. Gogo, with her different stride length and style, didn't.
Caulks can really be a scary thing. They are designed for one thing - keep the foot where the horse puts it. If a hoof at speed needs a little bit of slide, it doesn't get it with studs. This can lead to strains, hyperextensions, and trauma. (I'm not saying it does, I'm just saying it can.) If the caulks aren't big enough, they're worthless as traction devices. If the caulks are too big, they can do damage through either the aforementioned strain, or by creating pressure points on the foot. (This is why you remove studs immediately after your ride - standing around on hard ground with studs still in can be VERY damaging.) And let's not forget what happens when a horse miscalculates where to put its legs and stabs itself in the belly/legs/chest/wherever with a studded foot. They make belly guards for a reason, you know!


So what I want is traction. I don't need protection like an endurance horse out in the rocky desert might. For the most part, I have all the traction I need with her big, gorgeous bare feet. And I'd prefer that she be able to slip a little when she needs to in order to keep her from harm. So now, it's back to a question of morals - if the footing is bad enough that I would need studs, should I even be running her at all? And, in all seriousness, it's Novice we're talking about here. It's not Rolex. If you can't get around a regular, nice-footing Novice course without needing studs, then you've got some serious issues, I'm sorry. It's been raining for a week straight and the ground is a muddy mess and you're doing to die without your biggest spikes? Well.... maybe you should just call it a day and go home with an intact horse.

I need traction. But I need give when she needs give. And I need stop when she needs stop. 99% of the time I've got exactly what I need when I'm bare. And I think the most important thing to stress now is that I don't think she slid at the AECs because she was bare.

So what happened? I have a theory. Stick with me on this one because it might take a small bit of explaining.


Remember those hock injections?

Let's start there.


Daun awakened this little kernel of thought in my head. We were talking about injecting her right stifle when she was at Tufts and how I didn't want to make my horse a pincushion but that I felt that this time, unlike the hocks, we really did have hard evidence and that I felt less ethically stressed about it. We both feel pretty much the same about injections, only I've subjected my poor animal to them and she has not. You all remember how I essentially gave myself an ulcer going back and forth about whether or not to do her hocks in August, and how I eventually caved and went ahead with it. And yep, she did in fact feel better... but it was hardly the miracle I expected. What Daun had to say about injections, particularly in the hocks, is that besides all the ethical drama behind them, they can also "move the problem" somewhere else. Making her hocks feel better (even when they were doing their job just fine before) increases the likelihood of her injuring something else. To quote Daun, "The whole leg is connected, obviously, and if you give them 5 degrees more flexion in the hock, that is 5 degrees more movement the stifle and pasterns must absorb as well. Say the horse is tracking up fine pre-injections, but now after injections the horse easily overtracks by 6". At speeds, that is a LOT more strain on those tendons reaching under, suddenly, overnight, because the hocks feel better. Stuff like that scares me. Also when changing the way of going via shoeing or the feet. The tendons and support structures need time to adjust to the new way of movement, but we don't give them time, we change things suddenly." (This is why I love Daun. Because she has brains and she uses them.) And I certainly don't disagree. In fact, I am quite certain this has quite an enormous part to do with her injuries.
We were all shocked when she did bilateral tendon injuries on XC, no one more than me because of the countless hours of slow work on tarmac that I did alllllllllll spring and summer long. Her tendons should have been made of IRON. And I think they probably were... until I changed things. Suddenly, she had a bigger range of motion. Suddenly, she had more push and more stress upon limb flight and landing. I counted it up and prior to Huntington (the first show after the injections), she hadn't taken a rail down in 9 shows. 9 SHOWS. That is astounding. After the injections, at Huntington, she smashed through a couple of warmup fences like a madwoman. Strange, I thought... she's normally more careful than that. I think perhaps she had a bit of a Superwoman complex... no need to protect those hocks anymore Ma, they feel awesome so I can take off wherever I feel like and I don't have to be careful with them anymore! And before that fifth fence, she took off early and both hinds rocketed out from underneath her. She didn't protect herself in that footing AT ALL. Not like her in the slightest. (Ironically, she handled the soppy, soggy, hilly XC like a champ, giant hills and all.) And who knows? Maybe during that slip - maybe during that last month of gallops and hacks - those newly-loaded tendons started to get a little tired. Maybe I didn't give them enough time to adjust. Maybe I overstressed them simply by giving her a bigger range of motion far too late in the season, when we were already training at maximum capacity. Whatever the case may be, when I half-halted her before fence four at the AECs, instead of carefully slowing herself and coming up in front like she normally does, she saw no need to protect her body and wasn't careful about the way she took the half-half. And the fact that during a very small, routine slip - when I have no memory of her ever slipping on XC ever before in my life - she did such extensive damage begs the question, did she have undetected bilateral microdamage before? It wouldn't surprise me. In fact, I feel pretty strongly that this has a large part to do with it.


In short: I don't think she slipped because she's barefoot. I think she slipped because she wasn't protecting her body, and because I had quite likely inadvertently caused a predisposition to an injury. It was probably me that caused her body to fail. I don't think as horse owners we sit back and think about these things enough. We rely on our trainers, our barn managers, our vets and our farriers to give us their best opinions, but sometimes all we really need is our own selves to make the best choices. Sure, Gogo felt better after the hock injections - what horse wouldn't? But she was moving just fine before. At what cost did an unnecessary procedure come? Maybe we all need to look around at all our injured and damaged horses. All right, so Sammy did a suspensory on XC when he slipped. Sure, we've got that. So we put studs on Sammy when he's better and don't think about it anymore. But maybe what we should be doing is looking back at what led up to Sammy's injury. Maybe Sammy's farrier work was unsatisfactory and that predisposed him. Maybe he was worked too hard, maybe he was injected too recently, maybe he's a 16-year-old OTTB, maybe the footing at home is terrible, maybe he's conformationally lacking, maybe he's been showing a lot and his body is tired. There is so much that goes into all of it. And at the same time, it's crying over spilled milk, and after an injury there's nothing we can do but just plow on. But hindsight is 20-20 every time, and you find yourself always thinking, I wonder if I had done things differently, would the outcome have changed?

Add, add, add, add, add. We are always adding for our horse's benefit, or so we think. My horse is working hard, so let's add a joint supplement. And let's add DMG, and an antioxident, and supplements to support his tendons and ligaments. His feet aren't so good, let's add a hoof supplement, and fancy shoes, and pads, and studs. His back is sore, so let's add these fancy new pads. He hurts from all the new strain we're adding to his body, so let's inject his whole body. Oh now he has ulcers, let's give him thousands of dollars worth of treatments that may or may not help, depending on what else his lifestyle is like. He's broken all over now, so let's double all our efforts. Soon, you have a horse living miserable in bubble wrap, so broken and over-supplented, over-shod, and over-drugged that it's hardly a horse anymore. You know, Mother Nature did design everything in the world to work well on its own without our interference. Sometimes, we should just do our best to try and stick to Her plan.


You can tell I've had a lot of down time to think about all this.




In summary, I think slapping on a metal pair of shoes isn't going to change a damn thing, except her hooves, and not at all in a desirable way. I think there is far more to all of this than a simple solution. I think it's complicated, stressful, and altogether morally challenging, like all things related to horsecare. As I said before, if putting shoes on her was the answer to the problem, I'd do that. It's not about pride in a horsecare style I've opted for. It's about her, and what she needs.


Quite a lot to think about, going into this New Year.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Mare-y Christmas 2009!


Gogo and I want to wish everyone Happy Holidays and a very Merry Christmas!




And Metro and Quincy deserve a special Christmas spot here too:




My oh my how time flies, and how we change.

Happy and safe holidays to everyone. Thank you all for all your support this past year, and may all your 2010 hopes, goals and dreams come true.