I have so much to write about, but I'm so exhausted. All I can say about today is that sometimes you have a workout so disastrous you just want to go curl up in your bed and cry.
Yeah, it was one of those days. Gogo is amazing, talented, intelligent, brave, and BULLHEADED. And the tough attitude combined with her past history, well.... sometimes her fuses are very short. Our lunge sesson today was going very well until my cheap ass chambon broke. Literally, the leather just ripped apart.. she wasn't even doing anything. Me being stupid and not just calling it quits right then, I rigged up the lunge line in a way that I ALWAYS used to do, so that it runs from the bit back to the surcingle in a siderein kind of way. She, on the other hand, once this setup was complete and she was back out on the circle, completely curled under, then panicked when she pulled away on the circle and the line tightened, so much so that she was bolting and rearing and smashing herself into walls, literally spinning in circles so many times she was almost choking herself with the lunge line. By the time I had calmed her down, and I hate to say it but I kept trying to push her back out onto the circle so she could just chill out and get over it (backfired... only made her more upset, and she repeatedly threw herself around and tangled herself in the lunge line), she and I were both completely lathered in sweat. I finished the session with a long walk, bursting into tears, putting her in the washstall and hosing her off, putting her under a cooler and the heat lamps for over an hour, and begging her forgiveness with lots of hugs and cookies.
She was so upset, and I felt horrible. I still feel horrible. I made myself a stiff drink, chatted with Shannon about the difficulties of an alpha mare with baggage, and took a long hot shower. Now I'm just leaving you with this brief update. I literally have about 80 million things I need to blog about, but I just had to get this out of my system.
I feel horrible. She is the best horse ever, and I wouldn't trade her for the world.
Proving her heart of gold and guts of steel at the 2009 American Eventing Championships
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4 comments:
Ohhh, *hugs*, I'm so sorry. That sounds completely horrid for both of you. Luckily she'll forget much faster than you, and she'll love you again tomorrow. Don't beat yourself up to excess!
It's funny how horses have long memories about some things and short memories about others. Don't beat yourself up, Andrea. You made an error in judgement, you know it, and life goes on. I guarantee that you'll never make the same error again and I can also guarantee that GoGo isn't standing in her stall resenting you -- the just aren't that complicated. Get her back into a chambon and start the next session like it never happened. She might be rough for the first five minute, but I bet she will settle back into the old routine in no time.
I made an 'error of judgment' with my horse Clyde for three years--and he still forgave me. :) When you go out tomorrow she's going to go, 'Now why are you so silly. I TOLD you that wasn't going to work and you didn't listen. Can you put the Chambon on so we can go back to work? PLEASE? God.'
My 'error in judgment' involved trying to teach Brego how to drive. The first time he pulled a sled he did great. The second time, when I was working alone and had no helper, he freaked out and ran, pulling me along the ground. He ran the pasture and finally took the sled off the hitch on a fence. He was unhurt but very scared.
Honestly, it took some time to get over that, and he still freaks about harnesses, but he did get over it. I screwed up, Brego got scared. As dp said, life goes on.
The biggest mistake was that I thought this incident somehow changed him or us and I put him up for sale. He didn't sell and we went back to work. Think of my regret now if I had let him go over my "error of judgment". I would miss out on the most meaningful moments of my life.
It doesn't change anything, just get back to work. :)
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